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Joke of the Day
"Agnostics have commitment issues."
Next Joke
"Someone tried to touch my ass without my permission. Safe to say, I'm not letting anyone on my farm again."
"I set my alarm in a way to try to trick morning-me into getting up earlier, but morning-me is a math wizard and cannot be fooled."
"A couple drops of super glue on your fingers and you wont pay attention to any other thing on the planet for three hours."
"The only reason Indian mothers don't shop online is coz they cant bargain there"
"Just got out of prison after attacking a man on New years eve. Excuse me for getting nervous while an Arab was counting down from ten."
"It's so hot, I just saw a bird blow on a worm before it ate it"
"What's the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire"
"What's an alcoholic's favorite novel? Tequila Mockingbird I made this up just now... I'm so excited about it."
"My new baby is the image of his father. Never mind. just so long as he's healthy."