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Joke of the Day

"Dad can I? A young man went up to his father and asks ""Can I have twenty bucks for a blow job?"" His father says ""I don't know. Are you any good?"""

"I've invented a solar-powered still! It turns sunshine into moonshine. Credit: Quirk."

"""Bob's here"" Bob from work or Bob THE HARBINGER OF DEATH *an icy wind blows as black clouds consume the sky* ""Bob from work"" *clouds recede*"

"What's the difference between a flatfish and a good woman? The fish doesn't know it's plaice."

"What do you call a foreigner who is obsessed with Chinese culture? A zhuologist"

"57% of serial killers were bed wetters until an unusually advanced age. Let's make fun of them! What's the worst that could hap..never mind."

"When I go shopping I like to buy condoms and cat food at the same time just to confuse the cashier"

"Want did the Alzheimer say to the shoe?"

"[God creating the raccoon] God: make it cute with a lil mask Angel: haha aw okay God: also make it eat trash"

"Why did the dog have a gleam in his eye? Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth."