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Joke of the Day

"Me and Julio At Least 500 Feet Away From the Schoolyard"

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"As a California resident, I know autumn and Christmas are coming only because of the change in the featured Starbucks flavors."
"What's the cheapest type of meat? Deer balls. They're under a buck."
"Two fish are in a tank... One is driving, and the other is manning the guns."
"Two blondes at the movie:"" Pst, the guy next to me is masturbating!""says one ""just ignore him"" answers her friend. ""But I can't ! He's using my hand!""replies the first blonde"
"Rejecting someone by saying ""you deserve someone better"" is a fun way to let a person know you'd rather insult yourself than to date them."
"If babies wouldn't cry.. ..there would be no need for fleshlights."
"Why do feminists hate Apple? Because they're not PC."
"I like my women how I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer"
"Marvel's latest movie franchise follows an aging Peter Parker as he swaps crimefighting for medical studies in Spiderman: WebMD"