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Joke of the Day

"I like my women how I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer"

"It's important to teach your children math so they can better understand what episode of Star Wars they are watching."

"Women are like guns keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it."

"Hair is like fitness... If you don't condition, it'll suck (I'm sorry for nothing)"

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? You 'neek up on him. How do you catch a TAME rabbit?"

"Where does a vampire go to buy his sheets and towels? Bloodbath&Beyond"

"Dad goes on date with Carly Rae Jepsen As she got into his car he said ""Hi, Maybe."""

"Get in the van! me?...*winks* OK, It will be unpleasant, but worth it- hey! Where are you going?! *jogs after van*"

"What's the core body temperature of a Tauntaun? Luke Warm"

"Cop: Ma'am, what's in the bottle? Me: Just some water. Cop: Ma'am that's wine... Me: Jesus did it again!!"