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Joke of the Day

"I was hoping to be friends with benefits.. because my health insurance sucks!"

Next Joke
 
"I get sad around the holidays because they always remind me of how much weight I'll be gaining."
"How do you kill a one-legged fox? Tell it to run across canada ;) boom! Too soon?"
"I'm calling my dick ""Infinite Warfare"" because no one wants it"
"Anyone got a 10 year old daughter I could introduce as mine? Stuck in an elaborate lie after putting my music on shuffle at a party."
"What do you call a crocodile in a band? A crocstar"
"So I was sentenced to death by hanging... but my execution is being suspended temporarily."
"Damn girl I like the way you constantly change your profile pic to the one good picture of you from 2008."
"I hate being the walking dead. I wish I could be the driving dead. Even the bus riding dead would do."
"There are two types of people in the world... Those that can extrapolate from an incomplete set of data"