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Joke of the Day

"A bit too dark possibly. The war in Vietnam started in 1955 and in 2015 The Charlie was finally massacred."

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"Matthew 11, Luke 9 and John 12... ...are just three of the boys Father O'Reilly has to stay at least 50 yards from."
"Me: *hyperventilating* 911? BEES! ... EVERYWHERE! ... SEND...HELP! ""Sir we don't ..."" Me: OMG! DON'T YOU HAVE A SWAT TEAM FOR THIS?"
"procrastinator's club .... ... meets tomorrow"
"What did King Midas say to get peoples attention? Eh you!!"
"What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss? Flossless compression!"
"Me: I know exactly what's wrong with me, Doctor. Dr: I told you no Google. You Googled, didn't you? Me: NO! Dr: <blink> Me: One TINY Google."
"Knock knock. - Who is there? A person that likes to tell anti jokes."
"How to flirt: 1. Giggle 2. Apply lip gloss 3. Look down coyly 4. Realize you applied concealer 5. Fall off barstool"
"What did the Shit Summoner say at the bar ? Mind if I pull up a stool ?"
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