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Joke of the Day
"I once fell in love with an encyclopedia. I was completely in-fact-uated."
Next Joke
"My work signed me up for a 401k But I've never even run a marathon"
"when i was a kid, i thought getting arrested for shoplifting meant getting in trouble for trying to carry a store like popeye or something"
"Q: What did the fisherman say to the card magician? A: Pick a cod, any cod!"
"If your Facebook picture is a photo of a sunset or something inanimate, I'll assume you have a dissociative identity disorder."
"What type of pants do you need to start a car? Cargo pants"
"How do you say 'The Torah' in German? Kindling."
"Wife: ""they're disgusting, they carry diseases, they eat garbage!"" Me: are we talking about your parents, raccoons, or the kids?"
"A skeleton walks into a bar and says... ""Give me a beer and a mop."""
"Why are redneck murder cases the hardest to solve? Because all the DNA matches and there are no dental records."