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Joke of the Day

"Want to know how I can see 6 years into the future? I have 2020 vision."

"A construction worker asked me to make a joke about the contents of his toolbox. Unfortunately, I don't have any drill bits."

"""The Godfather"" teaches us that: 1. Nothing is more important than family and 2. Our families are always trying to kill us."

"What do you call 4 mexicans in quicksand . . . cuatro cinco"

"How did the hipster burn his hand? He was into lightbulbs before they were cool."

"I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger, but she did move to California in 1849."

"I went to the Zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a Shitzu"

"How much did Adidas spend in advertising at the World Cup this year? At least a brazillion dollars..."

"What is it called when a cow is unwillingly milked? **Moo**lestation"

"Here lies Aunt Brenda. Trampled to death on the day after Thanksgiving trying to save $18 on a crock pot. Rest in peace, sweet angel."