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Joke of the Day

"Man texted: ""I want you to be my little angle."" I answered: ""Do you want me to be obtuse, right, or acute?"" Two days have passed, no reply."

"Mom: *tastefully decorates house* Kid: HERE ARE 20 MILK CARTONS I TAPED TOGETHER TO MAKE A SNOWMAN I EXPECT THIS TO BE PROMINENTLY DISPLAYED"

"What's the difference between a girl's track team and a pygmy tribe? One is a bunch of cunning runts."

"How does a poor man watch TV? with binoculars. u know, he has to watch whatever the neighbours are watching."

"What do Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffet have in common? Both had Kurds in their way."

"It took Michelle Obama two presidencies to get kids outside... and Nintendo two days."

"Why did the stressed out zombie go on vacation? He needed some time to himself to decompose."

"My Pops told me that you can't go around trying to save everyone. They have to save themselves. He was a terrible lifeguard."

"Tell me a joke. Make me laugh I need to hear a joke make me laugh please"

"You know what really sucks? Sluts."