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Joke of the Day

"How does a poor man watch TV? with binoculars. u know, he has to watch whatever the neighbours are watching."

"When I see one of those student driver cars, I always honk a lot and yell, ""You're doing great!"" I think they appreciate the encouragement."

"I am a single male and I folded a fitted sheet at the laundromat today AMA!"

"Patron: Waiter why is there a spider in my glass? Waiter: It scares away the flies."

"Hackgate: Patriots hacked Seattle headsets and knew they were going to throw the ball."

"What kind of house is easiest to pick up? A light house."

"Did you know that Hillary's planning on being the first TG President? Yeah - after she's elected, she has plans to turn into a woman."

"""My Ex is amazing in all ways. My Ex is smarter, more successful, and more attractive than I am."" - bumper sticker I put on my Ex's car"

"What batteries do turtles use? Durashells"

"Took a class at Trump University but ... ... the textbook had four Chapter 11s."