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Joke of the Day

"As kid, It was always easy to find the black kids on the playground... They were always hanging around the monkey bars."

"Actual warning I saw in a pamphlet: ""You may be at risk for throat cancer if you have a throat or mouth."" Oh shit...."

"What vocation can transform anything into a gate? A reporter."

"How are a frying pan and a beautiful woman similar? You have to get them both hot before you put the meat in."

"What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels is still killing Indians."

"Relationship status: Autocorrect changes my girl to my grill."

"I fear all this talk of llamas & dresses has distracted us from the important fact that there is video of Madonna falling off a stage."

"Motorist: Why are you crying after giving me that ticket? Policeman: It was a moving violation."

"Guide to DIY: 1. Double the cost estimate. 2. Double the time it should take. 3. Live with it for 3 months 4. Hire someone to fix it."

"Scientists say four out of five people suffer from diarrhea... I'm just wondering, does that mean that *one* other person enjoys it?"