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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels is still killing Indians."

"What kind of cheese did Medusa eat? Gorgon zola."

"Being a bachelor is dangerous. I pulled a groin muscle while getting out of bed. Over and over and over...."

"What is the cuddliest particle known to science? The HUGS boson!"

"How do you tell the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Taste."

"Due to its location South Africa doesn't experience full tide or low tide... it has apartheid."

"Cleaning the Attic Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says ''Hey - get out! We don't want your type in here!''"

"How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning."

"The hard life of a dick... ...his hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his next-door neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually."

"""Eighty-seven percent of people think lasers are friggin' awesome."" - Pew Pew Pew Research Center"