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Joke of the Day

"I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet."

"What's the difference between an orange and a baby? You don't fuck an orange after you peel its skin. Credits go to my friend for telling me."

"My grandpa keeps complaining to me that my generation relies too heavily on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support."

"What did PSY say when he choked on a burger? Whop, Whop Whop Whop Whop ... Whopper Gangnam Style."

"Someone called me a horse today... I just looked at him and said ""Nay!"""

"It's here! May The Fourth Be With You!!"

"What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws ? Outlaws are wanted"

"Did you hear about the Indian who drank 4 gallons of tea? They found him dead the next day in his tea pee."

"Thumb sucking My missus asked me to help her stop sucking her thumb, so I drew a cock on it"

"I wish the GPS lady would periodically say things like ""Doin' great"" or ""Still going the right way, good job."""