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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Indian who drank 4 gallons of tea? They found him dead the next day in his tea pee."

"LPT: Don't spend you time posting LPT on reddit. No one on reddit has a life."

"Our Uber driver is literally participating in our conversation as if he's a full-fledged part of it. It's odd."

"LPT: Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine into your brain,and that's where shitty ideas come from."

"I'm so fat... ...my favorite super hero is the supermarket."

"Monsters won't stop chasing me. I don't wanna play today dammit!"

"My parents used to tell me this one. Where did the general keep his armies? Up his sleevies."

"How do you know the universe likes Saturn? It put a ring on it."

"If you have to wait a while to get a fast food order, say, ""I thought this was FAST food."" The place will never recover from that mega burn"

"""Give me your Vitamin Water and your organic gluten-free cookies unless there's peanuts in them because I'm allergic."" - 2012 school bully"