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Joke of the Day

"Lunchtime at McDonald's A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunchtime. She said 'sorry about the wait'. I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually'."

"""I just really need a good man to fill the hole"" *100 men come running up ""In my heart."" *100 men run away"

"recruiter: u should join the army octopus: buddy I'm army enough as it is"

"My girlfriend is such a procrastinator She never finishes"

"So glad guys with twirly mustaches don't tie up girls to railroad tracks anymore."

"A philosopher says to the linguist... ""What if, instead of periods, woman had apostrophes?"" The linguist replied, ""They'd be more possessive and have more frequent contractions."""

"Roses are red and sometimes they're thorny, when I think of you, I get really ..............."

"I'm still on my first marriage, and... Wait, that sounded very negative, as if I don't expect this marriage to last. My current wife hates it when I talk like that."

"I couldn't figure out why that frisbee was getting bigger... ...and then it hit me!"

"My favorite genre of rap is bragging about all the murders you committed then complaining the cops pull you over for no reason."