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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend is such a procrastinator She never finishes"

"At my house, it is customary for you to go back to yours as soon as possible."

"The seven dwarfs were in the bath feeling happy. So Happy got out."

"""Ninja please"" -Japanese people"

"What did the Mexico team travel back home with? Luggage full of goals."

"I asked my trainer ""Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?"" He pointed outside and said ""The ATM machine"" [ c/o /u/jubileo5 ]"

"What did one shark say to the other? These Malaysia Airline meals aren't bad."

"My son just got a tattoo of a heart, a spade, a club, and a diamond, all without my permission. I guess I'll deal with him later."

"My grandad always used to say to me that the best part of fighting is the make-up sex. Which would probably explain his short lived career as a boxer."

"How do you fix a pumpkin With a pumpkin patch... I'm so sorry."