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Joke of the Day

"People can be so easy to read. Like if their face is red, they're embarrassed. Or if their skin is brown, they're about to commit a crime."

"Funny how arguing works. We're all ""You clearly disagree with me, so I will now repeat my point with steadily increasing levels of volume"""

"My mate asked me if Wonderwall was the most culturally influential track of all time I said maybe"

"I promised my trainer that I'd set a gym schedule I would commit to regularly. So, now every time there's a lunar eclipse I work out."

"What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot."

"Why does the dog go to the gym? He wants to get ruff"

"Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette? He didn't have enough money tabaccer!"

"Why did Leonardo DiCaprio visit Sesame Street? It was his only chance to see an Oscar"

"Knock, knock Who's there? Cecile. Cecile who? Cecile the d-door! There's a m-monster outs-s-side!"

"If I ever see a shark I won't be attacked. Because although sharks are attracted to blood in the water, they are repelled by feces."