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Joke of the Day

"Jesus: Unless you become like children you will not enter heaven *Gets hit by a water ballon* Jesus: That's not what I meant, Paul"

"What's the worst thing about being black and jewish? Having to sit in the back of the oven."

"i think when there's a new viral thing and instead of checking it out you're like ""eh who cares i bet it's dumb"" that's Internet Adulthood"

"What is a pirate's favorite letter? C"

"Why did the fisherman decide to go fishing? For the halibut."

"""There goes my Baby"" by Usher... ...is a bad song to play at an abortion clinic."

"Excuse me, you with the heels that make your calves perfect, designer dress that accentuates your curves.... You have lettuce in your teeth"

"All Russian babies are born inside slightly larger babies."

"Donald Trump says he'll open up secret 9/11 files. Miley Cyrus says she'll flee the country if Trump is elected. Connect the dots, people."

"A flamingo, a duck, and a lawyer... Q: What can a flamingo do that a duck can't that a lawyer should? A: Stick its bill up its ass."