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Joke of the Day

"All Russian babies are born inside slightly larger babies."

"F*ck the zombie apocalypse, it's never going to happen. Worry about the f*cktard apocalypse, it's already upon us."

"I am a proud member of Grammar Nazi... And your not."

"A man arrives home and was absolutely delighted when he saw that someone had stolen every single lamp from his house"

"If I had a nickel for every time I was right and my parents were wrong. . . I would owe more than what America owes China."

"Yesterday, I got so depressed.. ..I spent entire day listening to Celine Dion records. . . Or that's what I thought until I realised my cat had fallen in to the dryer."

"Church is one of the few places you get on your knees BEFORE a guy gives you wine."

"Where do you touch a woman to give yourself the most pleasure? The back of her head."

"What is Brazil's favorite game right now? Hide and go zika"

"For sale Dead Budgie Not going cheep"