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Joke of the Day

"The blue man lives in the blue house, the yellow man lives in the yellow house, the purple man lives in the purple house. Who lives in the White House? The orange man."

"Nothing is more terrifying than putting back a shirt without folding it and then making eye contact with the shopping assistant."

"Mexican Magician The Mexican Magician says ""I will disappear at the count of three. Uno, dos..."" *POOF* And just like that, he disappeared without a tres."

"What do you call it when you throw a black person in the water? Pollution What do you call it when you throw all the black people in the water? Solution."

"NICE SPREAD you know where there are certain things you're not supposed to eat buy you cant help yourself? that's why I can never be a gynecologist"

"I love watching the wife sleep. Not so much the husband."

"I once dated a woman named Kim who hated to be called Kimberly. Then I dated a woman named Chelsea who really hated to be called Kimberly"

"I just told my sister I'm into incest.. She's taking it pretty hard"

"I can't tell if my baby is a slow clapper or is starting a slow clap to mock my parenting."

"A guy walks into a doctors office with a carrot in his ear and a piece ofcelery up his nose. The doctor told him he wasn't eating right."