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Joke of the Day

"I'd explain it to you again but I'm fresh out of crayons and puppets"

"How does a man see things from woman's point of view? By looking out the kitchen window."

"Coroner's Report Coroner: Report complete. Police: What was the cause of death? Coroner: The cause of death was that I sliced him open and performed an autopsy."

"I have a habit of 5 starring bad movies on amazon because if I wasted 90+ minutes on that crap, I want you to suffer too."

"Whats the hardest part about cooking vegetable? getting the wheelchair in the oven."

"I used to work with this black lady who had one arm and one leg... ...we called her Elbony"

"Kanye West becomes the President And Kim Kardashian becomes the First Lady"

"Gary Coleman died of multiple aneurysms.... which is kind of like Different Strokes."

"Kids: *doing something they shouldn't* Me: Stop or I'll be mad Kids: *keep doing it* Me: Stop or Mom will be mad Kids:*stop immediately*"

"The best way to prevent the next generation from stealing your lunch... Is to not show them where your lunch is. Because you forgot where you left your lunch."