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Joke of the Day

"""Marines!"" ""SIR, YES SIR!"" ""Get ready to deploy at 05:00 sharp--HUGHES WHERE IN THE SHIT ARE YOU GOING!?"" ""That's too early I quit."""

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"Where do dogs go when they lose their tails? To a retail store."
"My girlfriend's angry because I got drunk and did a shit on the roof. Please tell me, how can I wipe the slate clean?"
"Sometimes I wonder if the ghost in my house thinks he's being haunted by some angry, naked, drunk guy."
"When do cows go to sleep? When it's pasture bedtime"
"50 years from now...""Remember that time we were fighting the riot police and the National Guard ..."" ""...and your mommy shows up and kicks your ASS?"""
"Why did the John leave the Brothel? He was sick of the hormones! (whore-moans)"
"How much does a Qur'an weigh? Allaht"
"What's the difference between a chickpee and a garbanzo bean? I'd never let a garbanzo bean on my face"
"""Daddy?"" ""Yes?"" ""What are you doing?"" ""Writing a fictional conversation so I can post it on Twitter."""
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