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Joke of the Day

"""Marines!"" ""SIR, YES SIR!"" ""Get ready to deploy at 05:00 sharp--HUGHES WHERE IN THE SHIT ARE YOU GOING!?"" ""That's too early I quit."""

"Picture someone chasing down a ping pong ball that fell on the floor. Ok that's how I dance."

"Bottom of the Class ""I'm worried about you always being at the bottom of your class,"" said the father to his son. ""Don't worry Dad,"" he replied. ""They still teach the same thing at both ends."""

"Life is like a roller coaster: There are ups & downs, you often feel like vomiting, but in the end there are weird pictures of you for sale."

"Without Loss of Generality Assume x = 5"

"CEO of KFC: ""We must always respect our customers. That is so important."" Ian: ""Shall we still serve them food in a bucket?"" CEO: ""Yes."""

"What do the iPhone 5 and Viagra have in common? They're both $700 for an extra inch!"

"Thanks, but it's spelled ""sexiest"", not ""sexist"". Stupid woman."

"What's green and smells like pig shit? Kermit's finger."

"What Daft Punk song is a hit amongst the hispanic community? Juan more time!"