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Joke of the Day

"Without Loss of Generality Assume x = 5"

"[job interview] ""You wrote here your biggest weakness is not knowing what irony means."" ""Ironic isn't it? Is it? I don't know."""

"A Medieval Escort I've been down on my luck, but today I was finally offered a job as a medieval escort. Unfortunately, it means I will have to work fucking knights."

"At what point does CPR become necrophilia? When you're both stiff"

"Did you hear about the blind engineer ? Who built the taj mahal"

"One time I asked ""What would Jesus do?"" & then a close friend betrayed me & everyone started misinterpreting what I said for their own gain."

"My mom keeps asking questions like 'When you gonna be famous?' I tell her, 'As soon as they find the bodies.'"

"what did the hat say to the other hat? ""you go on ahead."" I'd like to thank Twitternation, Steve Wozniak, Adam Schefter, @MattGroening and anyone else who helped me achieve this great feat!"

"A pig, trying to save its life. After seeing a grill in the garden, the pig started to bark at strangers!"

"Did you know that Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard? Neither did she."