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Joke of the Day

"Apparently ""You should Google it"" isn't the best response when she asks how much do you love me? Sigh, women are so demanding.."

"told my girl I was going to a wine tasting, now she's coming and I was just gonna eat a dead bird and some expired cat food behind a Costco"

"Why was the horse farmer arrested? He was raising a colt."

"What's the United States favorite brand of shortening? San Fran Crisco"

"I was watching a hulu video and an ad came up saying ""This episode was brought to you by the invisible children."" Now I know how the internet works."

"Why was the geophysicist arrested? He was doing crystal math."

"*phone rings Me: Hello? Telemarketer: Hello how are you today? Me to son: Come here baby, SpiderMan is on the phone!"

"What do you call the pirate with the second largest penis? Long John Silver First of my original jokes to actually make my girlfriend chuckle."

"Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot? One's a marsupial, the other's a Geordie stuck in a lift"

"Redmond WA --Microsoft announced today that the official release date for the new operating system ""Windows 2000"" will be delayed until the second quarter of 1901."