34447

Joke of the Day

"What are your best 'no arm, no legs' jokes? What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on his porch? Matt."

"Side chicks are getting leftover Halloween candy for Valentine's Day ""Why'd you give me ghost shaped candy?"" ""Cuz you my BOO"""

"I don't smoke, I don't drink, and I don't curse... god damn it - I left my cigarettes at the bar!!"

"What do you call an Italian without arms A speech impediment!"

"Why should you never trust an atom? Because they make up everything.."

"Why does Pope Francis call his dick Santa? Because he comes to the good kids only."

"Some people like those European youngsters... But I prefer the euthanasia"

"Dark humor is like food Not everyone gets it."

"Mexican Magician A Mexican magician was known for his vanishing act. He would drape a sheet over his head and count: ""Uno! Dos!""...........POOF! the sheet fell flat. He was gone without a Tres."

"I asked my Ouija board when I was going to get a girlfriend and it spelled out HAHAHAHAHA until it caught fire."