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Joke of the Day
"I'm rich beyond my wildest dream... Too bad my dreams were never too wild."
Next Joke
"Why are there no Walmarts in Syria? Because they're all targets."
"Text response from a confused carcass: I decay."
"A man and a woman are sitting next to each other... The woman says ""If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee."" The man says ""If you were my wife, I'd drink it."""
"Apparently White men can't jump! Yeah? well black men can't act!"
"What hangs at a man's thigh, and wants to poke the hole it's often poked before? A key."
"*Nerdy guys phone rings* JOCK: ""Who was that, your girlfriend?"" *Everyone laughs* NERD: ""Nope. It was yours."" *Dead silence*"
"Let's simplify this. Deliver a pizza to me every night unless I call."
"""I'm done with this shit."" He thought as he closed Reddit, locked his phone and stood up."
"Featuring tweets in an article is a newspaper's version of giving up and wearing sweatpants everywhere."