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Joke of the Day

"Much like the giant panda and the snow leopard, the 20-something white girl without a wrist tattoo is now an endangered species."

"I'm trying to not be horny all the time but it's hard"

"[is being given CPR by my ex girlfriend] ""do you know how many heart attacks I had to fake before they sent you."""

"The heiress to the L'Oreal cosmetics empire has turn to prostitution to make ends meet, putting a $5 million price tag on her services for a single night. Which is fair enough, because she's worth it."

"Which is heavier, a coin or a ship? Obviously the coin, the coin sinks!"

"I don't always feel like I won the genetic lottery, but when I do... I'm at Wal-mart."

"How many hipsters dose it take to change a light bulb? A: None they have a guy for that comes on Tuesdays only uses reproductions of antique bulbs"

"Facebook needs to add ""still banging my ex"" as a relationship status option"

"What did the biologist's sister say to her sister after she dropped a beaker on her foot... Mitosis"

"Just found out that 'aaaaarrrrggghhhh' isn't a real word I can't tell you how angry I am"