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Joke of the Day

"What rock band constantly ends up featured in fold-out pictures in the middle of magazines? Avenged Centerfold"

"What did the dog say after stepping off a sailboat? Wharf!"

"Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs? A: She fell out of the tree."

"Eating a Clock I tried eating a clock once, I wouldn't do it again. It was very time consuming."

"if u see someone chewing gum in the morning, it's 100% bc they didn't brush their teeth. they're nasty as hell n not worthy of ur respect"

"what do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investigator"

"Drugs are never the answer kids. Unless the question is ""why have you been checking under the carpet for lizards for 3 days straight?"""

"On a walk, my son saw a pay phone asked what it was. I made him look it up on his Blackberry."

"I hated the new X-men movie. Professor X was so lame."

"What type of condoms does Ronald McDonald use? McRibbed"