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Joke of the Day

"What is the Difference Between a Pretentious Asshole, and a Brilliant Artist? About 6 feet."

"I would complain about the siren of an ambulance even if I was in the back of it."

"Last year I turned my life around and lost over 200 lbs People ask me what's your secret? And I'm like ""It's simple, I dumped my girlfriend."""

"Cleveland checks its makeup in the mirror, promises itself this time with LeBron won't be like before."

"I often wondered what it'd be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while."

"What's the best time to go to the dentist? 2:30."

"Don't smoke kids... Because smoking kids is illegal."

"Recent statistics show that 5 out of 6 people enjoy Russian Roulette."

"No one seems to care how NYC's smallest residents are handling this heatwave, which is why I'm asking you to join my Shave The Rats campaign"

"How did the flea learn to use the internet? He had to start from scratch."