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Joke of the Day
"My friends keep telling me to stop impersonating butter. But I can't. I'm on a roll now"
Next Joke
"Why was the chess player pregnant? Because they were mated."
"What's white on top and black on the bottom? Society. (All black people, take a jab - i'm jewish and not racist!)"
"- Baby, I can't sleep. - And it was pissing you off that I could?"
"What do you call the iron-stealing, oxygen-depleting metalloproteins that lurk in the red blood cells of all vertebrates? Hemogoblins."
"My grandfather told me this one.. You need to try everything in life at least once except three things: incest, heroin and folk dance."
"*Spends 30 min practicing Starbucks order in mirror* *Feels confident* *""Hi I'd like a grander ahoy Ralph Macchioatto lateenbay""* *dammit*"
"I swear, if the paper were better quality, I would wipe my ass with all these fucking reports I have to print out all the fucking time"
"How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles."
"Why does Snoop Dogg wear a condom? Fo jizzle."