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Joke of the Day

"You know what's fucked up? A girl on top."

"My ex-girlfriend dropped this one on me a heavy box. She was trying to kill me."

"Why are fish always on drugs? They just keep getting hooked."

"So apparently RSVP'ing back to a wedding invite 'maybe next time' isn't the correct response"

"Why did the airplane no longer work? Because it was **terminal**ly ill. I'll show myself out."

"At some point Princess Peach needs to look in the mirror and ask herself what she can do to prevent getting abducted so frequently"

"If you go to jail for tax evasion, you are living off taxes for not paying taxes."

"Where does Daredevil sign contracts? On the dotted line. *Revised from an earlier attempt."

"What do you get if you cross Islam and Capitalism? v2 Allah's Snackbar."

"Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children."