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Joke of the Day

"[catches spider in a glass] spider: omg are you going to drink me? me: oh no this is just to take you outside spider: me: spider: drink me"

"""Oh great! Just great!"" --guy showing up to the beach with a bunch of sand"

"parents, think twice before dressing your child as Cecil the Lion this year. my son will be dressed as a dentist, and I gave him a real gun"

"I have a ""Knock Knock"" joke but you have to start it off."

"WIFE: You know, you're my best friend! Am I your best friend? ME: [subtly exchanges knowing glance with our dog] Of course you are, sweetie"

"My Dad had the eye of the tiger ...and a life time ban from the national zoo"

"my great grandmother got me a ps4 for christmas my so-so grandmother got me socks"

"Customer: Waiter this soup tastes funny. Waiter: So laugh sir."

"Teach a man to Google how to fish and he'll wind up looking at fish porn for the rest of his life."

"How were the Jews captured during World War 2? They could not resist a ho-low-cost."