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Joke of the Day

"I used to be a big fan of Michael J Fox... ...but his latest performances have been a little shaky."

"""I think that kid's a robot"" What? ""Look at his mouth"" Relax they're just braces *backs away slowly* ""That's exactly what a robot would say"""

"What's the difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple only comes on your face after puberty."

"I tried eating a whole llama once. I couldn't finish it, so I figured ""Eh, alpaca lunch for tomorrow."""

"Guys, no one on Twitter cares about what you're doing. They just want to know about how much you hate what you're doing."

"Why doesn't Waldo wear stripes? He doesn't like to be spotted"

"Did you know that Stalin suffered from bulimia? He didn't binge, though, he just purged."

"What's the difference between a teabag and the English rugby team? A teabag stays in the cup longer..."

"MC HAMMER: U can't touch this! ... U can't touch this! MASSAGE THERAPIST: Please just let me do my job Mr. Hammer! MC HAMMER: U can't tou..."

"some babies are born premature but i was born very mature i just came out and i was like so what"