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Joke of the Day

"MC HAMMER: U can't touch this! ... U can't touch this! MASSAGE THERAPIST: Please just let me do my job Mr. Hammer! MC HAMMER: U can't tou..."

"How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Definitely not 9, my basement is still dark"

"Spongebob might be the main character.... but Patrick is the star."

"One time I fell off a 20ft ladder, then climbed right back up and jumped off a second time to show that ladder who's in charge."

"What do you call a Nazi cetacean? Adolfin."

"Why are leggings and sand the same? They both get stuck in camel toe."

"How many men does it take to get an Amish woman pregnant? Two men a nite."

"I complimented my chemistry professor, who's from Germany, ""Sir, you're so effervescent."" He replied, ""Did you effer see me when I effer vasn't?"""

"What do you take before every meal? A seat."

"Beth on Facebook ""Can't believe its Monday again already""... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur."