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Joke of the Day

"What is the cheapest date ever? Drive in reverse trough the mcdrive, so the checkout is on her side."

"What was said the boiled waters funeral? You will be mist."

"A friend of mine is so politically correct.... At the deli he is afraid to ask for "" white American "" cheese."

"My wife turns over and accidentally kicks me in the nuts. I gasp. She gasps. Then she raises her arms and yells, ""I WIN! I WIN!"""

"What do you call an aborted baby Spawn Kill"

"My kids are teenagers, and I've found the same thing fixes their bad moods as when they were toddlers: a snack and a nap."

"Girl I'm so sorry your parents died, was it Kony? Oh a bus accident. Was Kony driving the bus"

"why dont they ever have plagues of endangered animals, like a plague of panda bears. oh no our entire bamboo crop is gone haha"

"I told my friend to not worry about being hungry at the beach. Because of all the sand which is there."

"How do you define a will? Hint: It's a dead giveaway."