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Joke of the Day

"What happens when a soviet and a german have a child? I don't know but he can conquer poland really fast."

"If we truly become what we mock... ...I think I'm going to start mocking some smarter, more successful people, for a change."

"im an adult! i make my own bedtimes! i'll stay up all night and function at a fraction of my capacity! like a giant grown-up lethargic baby!"

"What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say? ""Beat it - we're closed."""

"My mom and her church biddies have morphed Facebook's ""People you may know"" to ""People who likely cleaned your face with spit on a hanky."""

"What is red and bad for your teeth? Bricks"

"Shouldn't elevators have a different name for the trip back down?"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Impossible. Feminists can't change anything."

"What type of pasta is most likely to cheat for a musical award? Rigatoni"

"I think my coworkers are gay because every time I walk by, they mumble under their breath ""what an ass!"""