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Joke of the Day

"What type of pasta is most likely to cheat for a musical award? Rigatoni"

"If a cat catches all the mice on your property... does that make it squeaky clean?"

"Ladies: The ""silent treatment"" is not a punishment. Try the ""sit next to him and cry and or frown excessively treatment"" instead."

"*Runs across campus to get to class on time* Whew! I made it! *Sits in the back and browses Twitter for an hour and a half*"

"I hate when women try to talk about sports... You don't see me in the kitchen telling them how to make a sandwich."

"Coconut oil on my dry skin this winter has made me attractive to women. Problem is the chocolate from the Mounds bars is ruining my clothes."

"I'm about as jealous as a cancer patient who watches x-men."

"""We will never forget."" Of course not, we're brainwashed and controlled by fear."

"Why did the butcher die ? Because he chopped off the wrong sausage."

"I just violently threw up for 6 minutes and now my coworkers think I'm the lead singer of Creed."