170225

Joke of the Day

"My mom and her church biddies have morphed Facebook's ""People you may know"" to ""People who likely cleaned your face with spit on a hanky."""

"Why was the little drop of ink so sad? Because his father was in the pen, and he didn't know how long the sentence was!"

"I feel like Donald Trump and Bill Clinton have a $1 bet that Trump can make Hillary president and Bill can make her not president."

"So i was banging a girl yesterday and she kept on saying another guys name... Who the fuck is rape?"

"Psychic convention canceled due to unforeseen circumstances"

"A Texas sheriff found a black man who was shot 12 times. He said it was the worst case of suicide he'd ever seen."

"Leonardo da Vinci's painting The Last Supper depicts all apostles and Jesus sitting on one side of the table. There must have been a show and karaoke."

"Did you guys see the new Mad Max prequel? It was playing on every channel last night"

"How are an armless man at a buffet and a kleptomaniac the same? They just can't help themselves."

"I only get laid because of who I am... A rapist! -Rodney Dangerfield, RIP"