180048

Joke of the Day

"What oil does Trump use in his cooking? Rapeseed oil"

"Want to know why carrots give you good vision? Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses before?"

"Did you guys hear what happened to Helen Keller? Neither did she."

"I hate it when somebody always comments on my status but never likes them."

"How can you tell if a mechanic went home for lunch? One of his fingers is clean"

"Mary had a little lamb. She's not a vegan anymore."

"I think it's fun that witches chose brooms to fly on, but if I were them, I'd fly on a rifle. This way when you land you have a rifle."

"President Obama has done nothing for the people of Ohio. For example they still live there"

"A twelve year old girl finishes her bath in the Atlantic. She goes to her eight year old sister and starts a fight with her. And thus we have Ocean's Twelve vs. Hateful Eight."

"Me: What kind of Dr. treats men who won't talk on the phone? GF: What? M: A Guy-no-call-ogist. GF: I'm killing u in ur sleep tonight."