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Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend is great in bed... But I don't know how my best friend would know that."
Next Joke
"I'm gaining weight for my role as ""'Before' picture"""
"If you're wearing khaki above the waist I'm going to assume you know everything about every animal."
" Cat and tree a"
"Today I connected all the freckles on my arm with a Sharpie. It spells out RIKSHAZ9LIRK. Clearly I am The Chosen One."
"I never realized just how much of parenting is surreptitiously throwing away artwork."
"I hear birds chirping. Either I'm up way too late or I've banged my head cartoon style."
"What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas? Forty feet of track - all straight!"
"Say what you will about Hitler, but the guy did kill Hitler."
"You didn't come here to be insulted? Why? Where do you usually go?"