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Joke of the Day

"Why did Ally refuse to do her homework, when all she had left was to square the x and y axis? Cause Allies don't like axis powers"

"I hope all goes well with Princess Kate's baby delivery.., ...but I think it might turn out to be a royal pain in the ass."

"Whoever called it getting drunk and not grunk detting just didn't get it."

"There's a cure for kleptomania! They make a pilfer that."

"If Netflix asks if you're still watching, tell the truth. I didn't & missed the first time my Netflix rode a bicycle on its own"

"ESPIONAGE: teen dresses up as a dad for a PTA meeting ""i think drugs are cool and we should back off"" *snapback falls out of pocket* *gasps*"

"I don't see any former child prodigies/spelling bee champions solving any of the world's problems. Thanks for nothing, you little burn-outs."

"History has it wrong, Paul Revere wasn't trying to warn us of an British attack.... He was just selling door to door porn."

"When I went to chemistry class for the first time, I was not surprised... The classroom poster was periodictable"

"dat hyphen A man eating fish was saved by a hyphen from a man-eating fish (you might have heard it before but its new to me)"