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Joke of the Day

"If Netflix asks if you're still watching, tell the truth. I didn't & missed the first time my Netflix rode a bicycle on its own"

"What do you call the spaces between the bits on a comb? Hair-vents."

"review of outside: too many other people, bugs will attack you randomly, pizza only available in certain areas 0/5 would not recommend"

"A horror movie where the girl in the woods actually outruns the mutated chainsaw murderer, then it shows him sadly limping back to his car."

"Booze Cruise I'm not afraid to die, I'm just afraid of how I'm going to die. I wanna go like my grandpa, In his sleep, not like his other 4 screaming passengers."

"Why did Adele cross the road? To say Helllllooo from the other siiiiide. My daughter came home from school with that one."

"I used to feel tired and sluggish. nothing could get me out of the house. then i tried MethTM and boy did i burn my house down"

"Why do the ladies love Jesus? Because he was hung like this! (spread arms out)"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? 1:""Why was 6 afraid of 7?"" 2:""Because 7 ate 9"" 1:""Ah very good, but why doesn't it matter?"" 2:...I don't know 1:""because 6, 7 ate. 6 was already a goner"""

"[Jedi Training] TRAINER: Any questions? STUDENT: Can the Force be with me? TRAINER: I don't know...CAN it? STUDENT: Oh right...May the Force"