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Joke of the Day

"My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish she used to like to dress up as herself and then act like a fucking bitch all the time"

"Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? He had lost his contacts!"

"Whenever I see an unsecured WiFi, I just assume it's owned by a chimpanzee sitting in a room and hitting a keyboard with a hammer."

"Why did the L.A. riots last only 4 days? Everyone knows black people can't work a full week."

"After many years, I have decided I no longer care where Waldo is because we do not have any sort of reciprocal relationship."

"[REQUEST] FAST! I'm trying to impress a girl by text. Send me your funniest jokes about potatoes. Anything having to do with potatoes. NSFW or not anything's fair game."

"WATSON: do you even have a proper education? SHERLOCK: Elementary, my dear Watson WATSON: but, like, beyond that SHERLOCK: nah"

"(NSFW) Coors Light is like having sex in a canoe. Fucking close to water."

"I'm not a huge fan of Carrot Top.. ..but I give him props!"

"Sexually rubbing the wall until you find the light switch."