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Joke of the Day

"(NSFW) Coors Light is like having sex in a canoe. Fucking close to water."

"What do you calla person that inherits a lot of money? A millionheir."

"What's the difference between a preschool and a terrorist training camp? Don't ask me...I just fly the drones!"

"Oh thank goodness, you posted another selfie. I almost forgot what you looked like since the selfie 5 minutes ago."

"What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Philippe Philoppe."

"My girlfriend told me to stop impersonating a flamingo... I had to put my foot down"

"Well, well, well. Guess who the grocery store asked to come back soon"

"Ever done it with an attack helicopter? Let me tell you. It's pretty fly."

"How do you make soup gold? You put in fourteen carrots."

"DON'T TOUCH ME! AND YOU'RE BREATHING WRONG! STOP IT! -wives, on their period Or if they're hungry. Or if you are actually breathing wrong."