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Joke of the Day

"Throwing handfuls of parmesan cheese at someone while yelling ""PARMAGEDDON!"" might just be the game-changer your Monday needs."

"Mom and Dad are in the iron and steel business. She does the ironing and he does the stealing."

"I'm fluent in Morose Code. -Debbie Downers"

"What did the tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches."

"I am not sure, but I think I just heard my cup of coffee say, ""You are my bitch"""

"Yelp Review: Babies Cute at first, but then screamy like angry pterodactyls. There is literally poop everywhere. Would not recommend."

"Darth Vader The first black guy to admit he's a father"

"""It's pronounced Jeff"" ""Whatever you say, Goff"""

"My wife got mad at me for my long-term addiction to watching Bruce Willis movies. I told her old habits die hard"

"Seriously contemplating remarrying my ex wife, but I'm pretty sure she'll figure out that I'm just after my money."