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Joke of the Day
"How many push-ups is too many when meeting your girlfriend's dad for the first time?"
Next Joke
"I have The World's Greatest T-Shirt. See, it says so right on the front."
"Don't you just hate the blatant materialism surrounding Christmas? And aren't you just dying to know what you got?"
"[Tornado siren blaring] Wife: Let's go to the basement. Me: There will be no line at Pizza Hut buffet. Wife: Me: I'll bring you a salad."
"Your restraining order says ""no"", but the 1/8"" gap between your living room curtains says ""yes""."
"How do you pick up a Muslim girl? Piece by piece"
"Two red blood cells met and fell in love. But alas, it was in vein."
"Ray Rice hitting his wife on the elevator... Was wrong on so many levels. And I'll show myself out."
"What do you call a film director with bad eyesight? Squintin' Tarantino"
"A little Muslim girl tells her husband: ""I want to be a feminist when I grow up."" Husband says: ""You can do one or the other, you can't do both."""