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Joke of the Day

"My computer crashed a few hours into writing my paper looks like I'm gonna have to write my name and the date again"

"Do you have to be from Vietnam to open up a restaurant called ""Viet Noms?"" I'm asking for a friend"

"What do you call the gap between a pair of fake boobs? Silicone Valley. edit: spelling"

"When I told my boyfriend love has to come from both ways... ...he suggested a threesome"

"You should know you'll get loud when you start drinking. It says right there on the label, ""Alcohol by volume."""

"Don't argue with strangers on the Internet. Save up all that negative energy for your coworkers and door to door salesmen."

"WHAT'S THE POINT OF A PSYCHIC HOTLINE IF THEY WON'T TELL ME WHERE MY OTHER SHOE IS?!"

"My girlfriend thinks dressing up as a clown during sex would be weird ... I think it would be fucking ridiculous."

"The first rule of Thesaurus Club is, you don't talk about, mention, speak of, discuss, chin wag, natter or chat about Thesaurus Club."

"Why is Flint MI famous for it's sandwiches? They have the highest Pb : jelly ratio in the midwest!"