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Joke of the Day

"They needed three Back to the Future movies so they could cover life's three great concerns: one's birth, one's future legacy, and cowboy"

"Yo mommas so ugly that even her dildo has to take Viagra"

"Its such a beautiful day to stay inside and tweet about what a beautiful day it is out there."

"crush: i really like music me: *gets jealous of music and rips off crushes ears*"

"Just walked past a girl with a Banksy tattoo on her arm. She must be a really deep sleeper!"

"ME: I wasn't invited to the party FRIEND: Yeah, people think you're melodramatic ME: [slaps friend with silk glove] Then I shall die alone"

"What illness causes breasts to grow all over your body? Heap-a-tities."

"You wouldn't believe me after reading my TL but my 1st language actually is English"

"When runner-ups in reality shows say, ""I may not have won but I'm still a winner,"" do they understand how language and/or competition works?"

"There's a really annoying moth in my room. It's been on my Silence of the Lambs poster for ages now."