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Joke of the Day

"ME: I wasn't invited to the party FRIEND: Yeah, people think you're melodramatic ME: [slaps friend with silk glove] Then I shall die alone"

"I can tell by the way you keep snapping your gum in my ear that you really don't value your life at all."

"Whats the difference between a midget and a bigot? One is small and the Other is small minded!"

"Even the stick figure woman on my wife's back window has a headache."

"Money may not buy happiness, but pondering your problems on a tropical island would sure beat pondering them on your couch."

"What does it mean if you find a horse shoe? Some poor horse is walking around in his socks."

"Are you guys alright? No you are all left."

"Did you hear that the North American Man/Boy Love Association go a new tech support guy? He's an e-NAMBLA."

"The Reddit admins die and find themselves going straight to hell... It made me laugh..."

"If a tree falls down, and only a women hears it. What the fuck was a tree doing in the kitchen?"