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Joke of the Day
"What illness causes breasts to grow all over your body? Heap-a-tities."
Next Joke
"Being the first to move in chess. It's a white privilege."
"what's better than a dozen roses on a piano? tulips on an organ."
"I like my jokes like my coffee bland"
"Doctor: Open your mouth (inserts tongue depressor) Me: Mmm, this tastes good. Dr: You should have tasted it when the Popcicle was on it!"
"A woman visits reddit..."
"I dumped my girlfriend and started reading a geography book. At least I know where I stand now."
"What's the difference between Stephen Harper and Rob Ford? One likes pipelines, and the other likes pipes *and* lines."
"[first date] ME: one of my biggest pet peeves is people who think the world revolves around them MY DATE, WHO IS THE SUN: i see"
"My wife and I have been dieting together for a week so it'd probably be safer for me to come home smelling like perfume than a Snickers bar."